Are You Over-Emotional? Emotional Intelligence & Emotional Triggers

One of the most gratifying aspects of being a Life Coach is when someone I have been helping lets me know that I have actually helped them.  The other day a man I get to coach every few months told me that when I said "so and so", it really connected and changed his perspective on his emotions.  Sometimes when people say that, I cringe, hoping that what I said was good.

Emotions are a Yellow Light

This is what he remembered:

• Emotions are neither red lights telling you to stop or green lights telling you to go.  They are yellow lights telling you to pay attention.

Emotions are important triggers to healthy, positive living - but they are yellow lights.

• Sometimes we put too much stock into them and stop and withdraw from something or someone we should engage. 

• Sometimes we ignore them or stuff them down when they are signalling us to something important for us to consider.

Good emotional intelligence tells us which it is.

Here are two quick tips to help you connect to your emotions and use them as yellow lights - proceeding forward with a good working/living knowledge of our emotions:

• Are your emotions a yellow light of warning?

• A warning is a signal that we should not advance.  
• Whether it is because you are not ready for what is next, the person you are with is not healthy, or the situation is not a good one for you to be in right now, emotions can be telling us to stay away.  
• If this is the case, acknowledge your emotions as positive emotional signaling and step away with calm and confident emotional intelligence.

• Are your emotions a yellow light of caution?

• A caution is a signal to proceed with more awareness than you had before.  
  
• This could mean that you honestly realize you are unsure of yourself but can reassure yourself by taking a few moments to think about what to do next. Perhaps it means the person or situation is a little tricky so you should adjust your approach for a better mutually beneficial outcome.
• If this is the case acknowledge your emotions as positive emotional signaling and take the emotionally intelligent high road into whatever is next.

So the next time you feel your emotions mounting, embrace them as a yellow light and try to determine if they are warnings or cautions.

For help in understanding and developing your emotional intelligence, go to drcarlyle.com.