The Illusive One Page – Using Emotional Intelligence To Get There

It’s a popular phrase.  It’s a popular goal.  But how do you get there?
Getting on one page is really coming to some middle ground that benefits both parties.   But since it starts off with something that is not currently completely aligned, achieving one page from two separate pages can be a challenge

Look at this way:  One person’s idea, goal, value, etc is a circle.  The other’s is another circle.  For some reason the two circles have to come together.  As they move toward each other, three things can happen:

The circles collide.  There is no combining.  No common ground is found.  The two pages remain separated.

The circles assimilate.  One circle absorbs the other.  The absorbed circle loses its distinctives.

The circles synergize.  Parts of each circle form a new circle – or maybe even a new shape altogether.  The new circle is something neither could be by themselves.

Emotional Intelligence includes discerning the perspectives of others while honoring those of our own.   Here are a few quick tips on how to synergize two different pages into one stronger page.

Acknowledge differing realities and the attached emotions

• Don’t dismiss their emotions.  Don’t emphasize yours.  Most conflict arises from emotions, rather than from principles.  Once the emotions have been expressed, common principles can be identified and differing principles can negotiated more easily.

• Try to identify the difference between emotions and facts.  When dealing with emotions, use feeling words.  When dealing with facts, use information.  If you use facts to counter emotions you will likely be adding gas to an already flaming emotional fire and no synergy will result.

Validate differing contexts

• Be curious about how their contributions are valid to the presenting situation.  If they are a part of the converging circles in the first place, they must have a good reason to be involved.  Seek to discover the mutual contributions each party brings to the table.

• Be concise about the essential elements you are less willing to do without.  But also remember that flexibility is one essential element of getting to one page.  Unwillingness to compromise will not result in synergy.

There are many ways to reach one page.  Using Emotional Intelligence can help you get to one page so you can reach new, common goals.

Contact Dr Carlyle at personalproclivity.com.